The Hardest Thing about Planning a Wedding

You’ve got a brand new rock on your left hand. You can’t stop admiring how it glimmers and sparkles in the sunlight. You’re over the moon excited, soaking in the first moments as fiancés. But before you’ve had a second to absorb what’s just happened, the questions start to roll in. “Have you picked a date?” “What are your colors?” “Are you thinking band or DJ?

In no time you’ve taken on the new title of event planner. (And let’s be real – before this, the events you’ve coordinated typically involve movie nights with, sweat pants, pizza + wine!!) Now you find yourself considering centerpieces, flatware, and signature cocktails, and trying to pronounce fancy words like hors d’oeuvre and boutonniere. Your head is spinning through a beautiful whirl of wedding magazines and Pinterest boards.

Understatement of the year: wedding planning is a lot of work. So what’s the hardest part, you ask? I’m here to tell you, it’s seeing past all the details and remembering that you are planning a MARRIAGE. What?? You thought I’d say it’s finding the perfect blush tone for bridesmaid dresses or choosing a first dance song? Nope. It’s all about remembering the WHY behind your big day. Your focus shouldn’t be on replicating every flawless detail in the newest edition of the Knot magazine; it should be creating something that screams YOU as a couple.

Five years ago I took on the title of “wedding planner”. I found myself buried in binders, lists, and spreadsheets. Trust me, I remember the overwhelming pressure. But Keith and I did manage to keep our sanity through it. How? We made decisions based on what WE loved. We served mac n cheese and cotton candy at our reception, we asked our grandmas to be our flower girls, we danced to country music. To us, it was perfect. Our goal was simple – let people celebrate us for who we are. The best compliments we received after the wedding weren’t about the flowers or the place cards. It was the sweet remarks from guests who gushed “Your day reflected you and Keith perfectly.”

Dear friends, a wedding is just one day – it’s a brilliant, dazzling one – but it’s a tiny piece in a lifetime of togetherness. So I’ll let you in on a secret – forget the million questions you’ll surely be asked, and instead remember this journey is about the rest of your lives, not just a single day.  

Xo, Rach

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Rachael Kazmier is an…


Snapshots from a destination wedding photographer & lifelong traveler.