I LOVE meeting new people. I’m a total extrovert and my heart is happiest when I’m making genuine connections with other humans. (I’m that weirdo who makes friends on vacation and still keeps up with them on social media 10 years later!) Yet there’s one question that creeps into almost any conversation, that our society defaults to when meeting someone new, that I cannot stand. You’ve probably heard it a million times and asked it yourself. The question is “What do you do?”

There’s nothing wrong with wanting to know how another person makes a living, but to me this question is so limiting and boring. When we just talk about titles and not about passions, we miss out on so much that makes up another human. When we lead conversations with this kind of question, it robs us of the opportunity to go deeper.

When I get asked what I do, I always struggle with how to answer. Typically I just say “I’m a wedding photographer” as it’s the easiest and quickest response, but it leaves so many things unmentioned and it sometimes confuses people. My favorite reactions are “What does your husband do then?” Or “Oh that’s cute! But what’s your full-time job?” Haha! 

My preferred response would be something like “I do a lot of things! I’m most passionate about my close relationships, traveling the world, capturing peoples’ most special memories, practicing yoga, volunteering at a cat shelter, and fighting for social justice”. Sure, it’s not as easy to say, but it’s more true to who I am! 

So if you’re with me and you’ve ever struggled with this, let’s make a pact. When we meet someone new, instead of leading the conversation with that one dreaded question, let’s instead ask “What are you most passionate about right now?” Human beings are so much more than the job (or jobs) they do to earn a paycheck. Let’s lose the titles once and for all, and have more meaningful, more connected conversations! 

Xo,

Rachael

Gorgeous picnic setup by Picnics in the Chi